i had tots of killing myself today. no need to continue suffering from my illness, no need to suffer the discouragement for job rejections, no need to have ppl making sarcastic remarks of "oh? u grad so long still looking for jobs?", no need to be a burden on other people, no need to attend gatherings where peers dont even care bout one another and act so fake by sayin" hey how have u been? wa u manager ah? wa xxx juz bought a car, wa xxx is so rich" (u really care whether the other party is dead or alive?) , no need to worry for people i cared about, no need to give advices to loved ones that falls on deaf ears, no need to experience sadness, anger and anxiety, no need to feel insignificant, no need to face them anymore. and the tot havin people to blame themselves for eternity for causing my death brings a smile to my face.

some will say, dont be selfish. people will cry and get sad when u die. well so? perhaps they really will. but only for a short while. since they are the people to taught me "life goes on". as what they said, their life stil goes on, with or without me rite?

i hate this world. its full of suffering, sickness and poverty. human beings are such an ugly race. they dont deserve to live and continue destroy nature. set me free from the twisted, disgusting society.